1. Play a sport. It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority,
work with others, manage your time and stay out of trouble - and maybe even throw or
catch.
2. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don't take something away from her
that you can't give back.
3. Save money when you're young because you're going to need it someday.
4. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum,
mop and broom. Now please go use them.
5. Pray and be a spiritual leader.
6. Don't ever be a bully and don't ever start a fight, but if some tough guy clocks you, please
defend yourself.
7. Your knowledge and education are things that nobody can take away from you.
8. Treat women kindly. Forever is a long time to live alone and it's even longer to live with
somebody you don't get along with.
9. Take pride in your appearance. First impressions count.
10. Be strong yet tender at the same time.
11. A woman can do everything that you can do. This includes her having a successful
career and you changing diapers at 3 a.m. Mutual respect is the key to a good
relationship.
12. "Yes, ma'am" and "Yes, sir" still go a long way.
13. Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good leader and others will follow.
14. Bringing her flowers for no reason is always a good idea.
15. It is better to be kind than to be right.
16. A sense of humor goes a long way in the healing process.
17. Please choose your spouse wisely. My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me
spending time with you and my grandchildren.
18. Remember to call your mother because I might be missing you.
(Writer unknown. Text modified. Source: - facebook post)
I have heard arguments for and against parents ‘invading their kids’ space’.
Yes, I agree that children should have a place that they call their own.
A child's bedroom is:
- Their sanctuary.
- Their own special place to play, read, rest and sleep without being disturbed.
- A place to set up tea parties for their dolls or create castles and dragons.
- A place where they keep all the stuff that is dear to them.
- A place where girls write their diaries and boys plan their next escapades.
- A place where they can play with their friends or just daydream.
Tidiness:
I have heard many parents say the kids’ bedrooms are their own domain and if they
can live in what resembles an ‘explosion in a mattress factory’ then so be it!
I disagree. I think that children need to be taught that respect includes keeping their
rooms tidy. They need to learn to care for their own stuff and know that everything
has a place … other than the floor, the bed or the doorknob. Part of teaching children
to be tidy involves parents inspecting their bedrooms every week.
Safety:
For their own safety, you need to know what is going on in every room in your home.
For that reason your children need to understand that you will inspect their rooms
whenever you choose. Too many times we have seen on the news that kids have been
experimenting with explosives, drugs or been looking at pornography on the TVs or
computers in their bedrooms. I can’t think of one time that parents, upon being questioned
by the media, have had any idea their kids were into illegal, unsafe or unsavory practices
in their own home.
Our responsibility:
As parents we have the responsibility, to the best of our ability, to keep our children, our
home and our immediate neighborhood safe. In order to achieve this, we must be aware
of everything that is going on under our own roof and particularly in the ‘privacy’ of our
kids’ bedrooms. We should observe our children’s behavior and monitor their friendships.
Bedrooms need to be a fun, safe and peaceful place to be. We need to teach our kids not only
to keep them tidy, but also to be prepared for the fact that we will come in and check them at
frequent intervals.
By Sally Burgess
One of the greatest lessens in life is punctuality. Why should we teach our kids to be punctual?
When you don't get there on time -
1. You will miss out. The bus will be gone. The door will be closed. You will miss the opportunity.
2. You show disrespect to those who were on time and are waiting for you.
3. You demonstrate a lack of planning and you spoil others' plans.
4. You create an element of distrust amongst those who are relying on you.
How do we teach our kids to be punctual?
1. Be a role model.
2. Explain why they need to be on time (see above) and how to prepare beforehand to BE on time.
3. Create and act on consequences for being late e.g.
a) If you are going shopping and there is someone staying home who can look after them, go without the child.
b) If they miss the bus and it is possible to walk with them, make them walk.
c) If they don't come when they are told the meal is served, take it away and don't give them anything else. I can
guarantee they will not do it again.
d) When they are late, have them apologize for being disrespectful to the person concerned.
e) Create stronger consequences if earlier ones do not correct the problem.
4. Explain what to do if they know they will be late e.g. phone or text the person concerned and give an e.t.a.
If we are regularly late we cannot keep making excuses, we need to just plan our lives better. Occasionally unavoidable situations occur that prevent punctuality. However, if we are known for being habitually late we will accrue a very poor reputation and people will not be able to rely on us.
By Sally Burgess
How can we find those special gifts and talents in our children? What approach will bring out the very best in them? Think about your own childhood. Did you have a particular teacher who knew just how to get the best work from you? How did he/she do it? Did you have a parent, family member or friend who instilled the kind of confidence and belief in yourself that you surpassed your wildest dreams?
We are created with the 'ingredients' to do the most amazing things, yet most of us never really reach our true potential. We need to help our kids discover the skills and talents where they really excel. How do we do that?
The do's:
- From the time they are toddlers we can observe what they seem to be most interested in, or show aptitude in doing and encourage that.
- When they start school we observe where they shine. We get them into activities that will enhance their talents even further.
- We make sure that their lives are balanced between their favorite activities, their school work and home responsibilities.
- We need to give each child the same opportunities.
- Kids want role models from within the family. They want heroes.
- Kids need to see us working towards self-fulfillment so they might get caught up in pursuing the same. It is never too late to follow your dreams.
- We all respond to encouragement and recognition. Kids, especially, need praise for effort NOT just for success.
The dont's:
- It is vital not to push our kids into activities they are not suited to. If it isn't working for them, try something else. We are helping them find their potential, not living our own unfulfilled dreams through them.
- We shouldn't fall into the trap of buying them 'every instrument in the orchestra' when they are just not into music. Just one activity at a time is what they need. They can't become excellent in any one thing if they have too many irons in the fire.
- We must not be unrealistic. Our expectations for our children need to be high, but not crushing. There is nothing worse than never feeling good enough. They need to just do THEIR best, not be THE best.
When children excel they feel a great sense of satisfaction. They receive praise and recognition from others which naturally gives them confidence. Through it all, they learn several important things - patience, persistence and a deep sense that they they are using the abilities they were destined to pursue (not that they could vocalize that). They, with your help and encouragement, their teachers recognition and other significant people's contributions help define their potential and set them on the road to fulfillment.
By Sally Burgess
I wonder where the word 'chores' came from? That word always makes me think of drudgery - stuff you have to do, but yet, don't like doing!
In our parenting sessions, when talking about helping around the house, we focus on the family being a team where everyone works together to create a great, smooth running home environment. Each person takes responsibility for particular tasks which are all part of the daily routine. Requiring children to be involved in everyday home management prepares them for working together with others throughout their lives. Once the tasks are completed there is time for individual and family fun. By praising them for work well done, children feel valuable contributors, thus eliminating the temptation to pay them for 'chores'.
Let's get rid of the term 'chores' and think of a more positive name for daily responsibilities. Tasks? Duties? Pleasures? Angel work? Have you any thoughts?
