As parents, we sometimes go too far trying to help and protect our kids from life's harsh realities and disappointments. We don't want our kids to struggle like we did. Therefore, we are tempted to hover and coddle in a wave of over-protection.
But Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Dan Kindlon says that over-protected children are more likely to struggle in relationships and with challenges. We're sending our kids the message that they're not capable of helping themselves.
To quote clinical psychologist Dr. Wendy Mogel:
"It is our job to prepare our children for the road, not prepare the road for our children."
They need to know how to deal with failure. EVERYONE fails. It is a fact of life. We can't protect our kids from it. For one thing we will not always be there to catch them. We cannot afford to allow them to think their negative situation is always the fault of someone else. We need to teach them to accept responsibility for unwise decisions they make in life. Therefore, we need to teach them about failure and how we can turn failure into success. There are plenty of examples in history to bring to their attention.
The Bible tells us that "The rain falls on the just and the unjust." In other words, 'stuff happens'. We need to deal with it and move on. Making the best of the situation teaches our kids optimism instead of pessimism.
Ann Landers is quite right when she says, "It is our responsibility to teach our children to become mature, reliable, responsible adults who will, in turn, become role models for their own children."
Written by Sally Burgess, Forefront Families.
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