HOW TO DEAL WITH BULLYING

TYPES OF BULLYING   

There are three types of bullying.  Physical bullying refers to harming another person’s body or property.  Emotional bullying refers to harming another person’s self worth such as name calling, verbal put downs, being stood over or verbally harassed. Social bullying refers to harming one’s group acceptance, being publicly humiliated or ostracized  Anyone, any age can be a bully.  Bullying is deadly serious and a very  common problem amongst groups of people.  Bullying is not one single incident, but repeated intimidation.

WHY PEOPLE BULLY OTHERS

There are various reasons why people bully others.  If a child bullies they may be modeling the behavior of a bullying parent, or an action hero.  They may feel insecure and feel the need to establish superiority over others.  They may have an inflated ego, considering others to be beneath them, therefore boosting their pride.  Sadly, some bullies get a buzz out of the fearful reaction of the victim.  Bullies thrive on dominance and power.

Bullies target those who will not challenge them.  They usually surround themselves with friends they can call on to protect them in case the bullying backfires on them.  (This indicates that they are really cowards underneath).  They pick on kids who are smaller or weaker than them, kids with poor social skills, kids who display physical difficulties and kids who won’t retaliate.

THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO BULLYING

Prevention:

• Tell your children what bullying means - what it looks like and why people do it.
• Teach your children about respecting others - what it means and what it looks like.
• Watch out for bullying tendencies within your own family and deal with it quickly.  
• Get professional advice if necessary.
• Watch out for 'stand over' tactics with one child over another in your family. 
• Schools should have a ‘no bullying’ program and students and parents need to be aware of the process of reporting bullying.  
• Work places should make it known to workers that they are free to discuss such concerns with the HR department without incrimination or retaliation. Whistle blowers should be protected.

Action:

• Watch out for changes in your child’s behavior e.g. reticence to go to school or play with particular children.
• Encourage your children to talk to you if they feel afraid of ANYONE.
• DO NOT take matters into your own hands by marching to a bully’s home.  You might be standing right in front of a bully parent.  Hostility does not solve situations.
• Do not put up with work intimidation. Report repeated bullying to the HR Department.

Written by Sally and Brian Burgess, Forefront Families