Think back to your own school days when Cassandra, (or was it Jack?) decided they didn’t want to be your friend any more or just changed friends without so much as a grin, then gave you grief. You thought they were mean, and they probably were. You cried a lot and decided to be mean back, because you didn’t know what else to do.
This has always happened, still does and always will. Your parents may have dealt with it well and helped you through the crisis, or they didn’t handle it well and you learned through ‘the school of hard knocks’.
I’d like to offer you some suggestions when these crises happen to your child.
OFFER TO LISTEN INTENTLY:If you have developed a strong communication link with your child it will make the task easier as they will be honest with you and spill out the problem troubling them. Listen to them with affirmative words, or at least grunts, without interrupting them. Sometime during the session mention an experience you had and how you dealt with it.
INVITE SOME 'REAL FRIENDS' OVER:If they have any true friends, (maybe they don’t go to the same school) ask her if she wants to invite a couple over to play. This may take the focus off the tense situation at school and give her faith in other relationships.
HEAP LOVE ON YOUR CHILD:Your child is probably feeling hurt, insecure and a bit angry in regards to the failed relationship. Load affection on her. Take her out and give her some happy times. Maybe serve her favorite meal. Reassure her that this situation will work itself out. Acceptance and trust will build to a point where she will want to come and share her thoughts and emotions with you in the future.
Written by Brian Burgess, Forefront Families