LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES

 

Forrest Gump said it well, when he said, "Life is a box of chocolates.  You never know what you are gonna get." We cannot allow our kids to think that everything will be rosy all the time.  We should not continually shield them from hard work and hard knocks.

Many times we feel as if we are failures as parents.  One of those reasons may be because we are making decisions for our kids that they don't like.  They can't see it is for their own good, only that we are 'ruining' their lives. We are perceived by them as 'mean' parents!

Arlene Pellicane sited several mistakes we make as parents.  Here is one of them.

AMUSING OUR KIDS IS THE HIGHEST PRIORITY

"We don’t want our children to be bored or to scream in public places, so we hand over an electronic device to amuse them. As this becomes the norm, your child learns to crave constant amusement and entertainment. Instead of having a special Disneyland experience once every few years, we’re bending over backwards to create those magical moments every day with special outings, fun food, and over-the-top parties for kids. Stop being the cruise director for your child’s life - that’s not your main job description. If your child can’t find something to do without your help or without a screen, they are headed for trouble." - Arlene Pellicane

 

DON'T FALL INTO THE TRAP!

We are the author of our kids' expectations.  It doesn't take them long to learn that Granny is always going to bring them sweets when she comes to visit, that they will always get a toy when they go to the mall or that weekends are for their entertainment.  Life is not like that.

We can see where it comes from.  Newborns are totally reliant on others.  The difficulty is the point where we stop responding to their 'demands' and make them aware that they are part of a family not the center of the universe.  Of course, we want our kids to love us.  We want to remain feeling needed even, but spoiling them rotten by amusing them with stuff, is not what will bring them true happiness OR prepare them for the real world.  We need to shift their brains from 'it is all about me' to 'I am part of a family and we all have needs.'

 

SUCCESSFUL FOCAL CHANGE

• We tell them they will not always get a special something when they go out.
• We do not give them everything they ask for and explain why.
• We lead by example by not having to be amused all the time ourselves.
• We explain that money does not grow on trees and that they have to save for things.
• We involve them in family responsibilities and do not pay them to do chores.

Comments by Sally Burgess, Forefront Families.

Source:  
Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World and 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife. She has been a guest on the Today Show, Family Life Today, The 700 Club and Turning Point with David Jeremiah. Arlene and her husband James live in San Diego with their three children. Visit Arlene’s website at www.ArlenePellicane.com.