FORGIVING BUT ALSO FORGETTING

                                     Forgiving someone is often a very hard thing to do.

WHEN SOMEONE HURTS YOU DEEPLY

The natural response is often to:
1.  Build a wall of protection to prevent that person hurting you EVER AGAIN.

2.  Believe what they said/did. Take on the perceived value that that other person placed on you.
3.  Lose confidence in yourself and withdraw.
4.  Become angry and seek revenge.
5.  Lose a friendship.  The other person may move on or you may choose not to have such a
     close friendship again.
6.  Be less trusting of others in general.

IT TAKES COURAGE TO FORGIVE

It takes real courage to forgive because, in doing so, you are making yourself vulnerable.  It is the same when you apologize to someone.  You are admitting you made an error in judgement, a mistake.

Some situations are much more easy to forgive than others.  We forgive our children while they are learning our expectations.  It is harder to forgive them when they should know better.  It takes a huge heart to forgive someone who has taken the life of someone dear to you.  Yet, the examples we have seen e.g. The Amish families who immediately forgave the guy who shot and killed their family members.

FORGIVE YOURSELF

I think we are all too often too hard on ourselves.  We believe that it is not acceptable to make mistakes or make the wrong turn.  How else do we learn? Yes, there are times when we know it is wrong, but we do it anyway.   Yes, we are disappointed in ourselves.  Yes, we feel stupid.  Yes, we let ourselves and/or others down. We need to apologize and, if necessary, ask for help to make the right choices next time. This applies to any age.  Sometimes we pay dearly for our mistakes.  If we break the law there will be serious consequences. You will likely need professional help to pick up your life and keep going after a major error in judgement, especially if it has caused loss.

TO REFUSE TO FORGIVE

Refusing to forgive creates ongoing bitterness and an all-consuming mindset of revenge.  We think we are binding the other person.  We hold back our forgiveness...but we are binding ourselves.  We have a young friend who felt he had been duped out of property by a stepmother.  He felt he had been unfairly treated by various Government Departments and was set on suing them all.  I told him that he spent so much time looking backwards in revenge that he was cheating himself out of his future.

FORGIVE AND FORGET

Best summed up in a beautiful song of God's forgiveness written by Bruce Carroll

FORGET IT
In a moment of weakness, you slipped and you fell.
Now you're feeling the emptiness, you needed someone to tell.
The enemy is condemning, trying to get the best of you,
But God his love since forgiven, and the next thing that He wants you to do, is,

CHORUS
Forget it, don't let it, keep on bringing you down.
Be strong, press on, on to higher ground.
Don't let the sins of yesterday, keep standing in your way.
Forget it, don't let it, keep on bringing you down.

In our moments of weakness, it's hard for us to understand,
Why we lay our burdens down, then try to pick'um up again.
For in the eyes of Jesus, the moment we first believe,
as far as the east lies from the west, our redemption is complete. So,

CHORUS
Forget it, don't let it, keep on bringing you down.
Be strong, press on, on to higher ground.
Don't let the sins of yesterday, keep standing in your way.
Forget it, don't let it, keep on bringing you down.

Don't ask the Lord about a sin that you confessed.
He can not remember what He's promised to forget. So,

CHORUS
Forget it, don't let it, keep on bringing you down.
Be strong, press on, on to higher ground.
Don't let the sins of yesterday, keep standing in your way.
Forget it, don't let it, keep on bringing you down.

So, don't keep bringing up negative things your kids, your spouse or friends have done, you have discussed, and all is forgiven.   IT IS OVER.  LET IT GO!

Blog written by Sally Burgess