Two weeks ago I stayed with my cousin Helen in beautiful Tasmania, Australia. All around the walls of her home were huge framed photographs of breathtaking landscapes, incredible bird life and spectacular sunrises. All of these photographs were taken by Helen’s husband David Jamrozik.
Images capture scenery, family, events and exciting adventures that we experience and these ‘moments in time’ create memories down through the centuries. Wow!
Our brains are like a huge hard drive that stores our visual images. It also turns the things we hear, such as stories we read, into visual images. It would be wonderful if our brains were stocked full of positive images. Unfortunately, life is not like that. We see and hear things that are sad, stressful and make us feel afraid. I can remember as a very small child, hearing on the radio about war in Chile. I had no idea where Chile was, what the fighting was about or whether I was in any personal danger. I just recall being very frightened. Until I was assured there was no fighting anywhere near the bottom of the world where I lived, I could not calm down, and I still remember it to this day.
Negative memories do not automatically go in the trash or spam file in our brain. For that reason we need to protect our kids' minds from unnecessary negative and/or traumatic input.
I imagine my brain as a blank canvas. What goes onto the canvas stays there. No matter how hard I try to paint over negative input, it will not go away. Our kids' minds are the same.
As parents, we need to be our kids’ 'mind guardians' when it comes to the images they store. Consider this research statement:
“Over the past 30 years there has been extensive research on the relationship between televised violence and violent behavior among youth. Longitudinal, cross-sectional, and experimental studies have all confirmed this correlation…… In one recent study it was demonstrated that 15% of music videos contain interpersonal violence.” Eugene V Beresin, M.D.
Here are some suggestions when it comes to managing media input.
a) Carefully monitor what they are watching intentionally or unintentionallyon TV. The evening news, for example, can even be scary.
b) Vet the movies, video games and music videos they watch and play. Violent
cartoons and video games have become the norm and we do not know how
they are affecting our kids. Yelling, “I am going to kill you,” as they play
imaginary combative games may be tossed aside as 'normal' play, but in my
opinion, it is disturbing.
c) Watch for the ‘fear factor’ in children. If they seem to be afraid, encourage
them to talk about it. Don’t dismiss their fears as ‘silly’ or think they will just
grow out of it. Not all kids want to be scared out of their wits by spooky stories
at Halloween or at any other time. Inciting fear is not a game.
My husband just related that a parent at the school he works at let their eight-year-old child watch ’12 Years a Slave’. My husband saw that movie two weeks ago and said it was an R-rated movie because of violence, nudity and sexual content. It was certainly not a movie for a child to watch. How brainless can some parents be?
Our thoughts and actions are strongly influenced by our stored images. If these images are positive and wholesome then we will automatically interpret circumstances in a positive manner thus endorsing the value of respect, care and love for one another.
(Photograph kindly loaned by David Jamrozik)
This photograph is of a Tasmanian blue wren. When they are very young they are a gray color but as they mature they develop this beautiful blue plumage. We want our children to develop into confident, happy young adults, unencumbered by negative junk that they can't forget.
Written by Sally Burgess
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