IT'S ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE

I walked past a family in the mall the other day and overheard the mother say to her child, "See that policeman over there?  If you don't stop this ridiculous behavior, I am going to get him to come over here and sort you out!"

It is very important that your kids feel safe at all times.  If they think those in authority are there to only issue punishment, our kids will not know where to turn for protection when you, the parent, are not there to provide it.

Our attitudes are most influenced by the attitudes of our parents.  Here are some common scenarios:

• If we say, "Well, I didn't do any good at school, and I turned out all right," we may well be giving our child the impression that there is no need to work hard.  We could be robbing them of the satisfaction of pushing themselves to achieve their full potential.

• If we say, "Just don't get caught," we are giving our kids the idea that breaking the law, cheating, or being dishonest in any way is OK, just as long as we can get away with it.  It is not wrong until we get caught.  When we get caught it is just bad luck.

• If we say, "White lies are OK," we are saying everyone twists the truth sometimes.  Twisting the truth seems to be different than flat out lying, when this is not the case.  In fact, as long as we do not represent the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth we are being dishonest.

• If we say, "It doesn't matter if we a) knock things off the clothing racks in a store, b) put frozen foods we don't want on another shelf on the way to the check out, or c) leave shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot BECAUSE it is the job of the employees to pick up after us," we are teaching our children that others are there for our convenience.  Quite frankly, we are being lazy and showing that we are very self-centered.

• If we damage someone's property or belongings, like backing into someone's car, and we fail to leave our particulars for the owner to contact us, and we leave the scene, we are really showing our kids that we are irresponsible and that such behavior doesn't really matter.

Respecting ourselves, others and others' stuff is a very fine attribute.  When we are dishonest, others lose trust in us and that is very, very hard to recapture.

Written by Sally Burgess

WHAT THEY DON'T TELL YOU ABOUT BEING A PARENT!

When you are a newlywed and thinking about the prospect of having kids, you often hear others say:

• "Are you guys going to have kids? They are such a blessing."
• "I love being a Mom. You will, too."
• "Babies are the best! They smell so good and they are just precious."
• "There is no greater joy than having a family."
• "Children are a gift from God."

While all of those statements are true, they don't point out the small print on the bottom of the contract:

• Children are at risk of death at every turn, so don't EVER take your eyes off of them!

• You will wake every 2 hours to feed or comfort your baby for the first 3-14 months.

• You may get a projectile puker.

• You will become one with poop and urine. It goes everywhere...eyes, hands, mouth, walls, sheets, etc...

• Your body is not your own anymore and it will never look the same again.

• Privacy is non-existent until the kids leave home.

• Forget date nights unless you want to dig into your savings.

• All those things you thought you could get done while your child sleeps? Yeah, right! You're gonna wanna a nap, too!

• You will have to plan everything around nap-times and bed-time.

• All those ideals you had to feed your child only healthy foods? Yeah, you are gonna end up feeding them whatever will keep them from starving to death! Don't think they won't try to starve rather than eat a carrot!!!  There are many more examples, but you get the idea.

THE REALITY:
Why don't people tell you the truth about raising kids? Because, if we knew, the human race would probably become extinct within a few decades! The truth is that kids are hard work, whether you have 1 or 19 and counting.

THE SACRIFICE:
You will have to sacrifice a lot for your kids, including, time, hobbies, careers, living space, passions, dreams and more. There is fighting, tantrums, ear piercing screams, yelling, throwing things, whining and crying... and that's just me! The kids add to that and more.

THE HOPE:
Before you go digging a grave for yourself in the back yard, let me encourage you that each phase of child rearing has plenty of great points, too. While no two families are alike and everyone struggles with different parenting issues, we can all agree that it is tough and that even the sanest of parents can be driven to the edge by child rearing. So, a little fore-warning wouldn't go amiss for newlyweds. I don't think you can ever be fully prepared to be a parent, but you can go into it with realistic expectations.

With all that being said, I truly love my kids and they bring me plenty of joy on a regular basis. They have fantastic personalities. Every parent finds joy amidst the chaos. I guess that's why we keep procreating and populating this planet. At least I would like to think that.

So what would I tell the next set of eager-to-be-parents?

"I love being a Mom. You will, too."
"Babies are the best! They smell so good and they are just precious."
"There is no greater joy than having a family."
"Children are a gift from God."

Written by Kristee Mays

 Check out this video called, 'The Mom's song'.

JAWS - tips to stop a biter

Biting is always an exasperating situation, whether your child is the biter, or if another child is biting yours. I never forget coming home from work one day to find my little 3 year old boy sporting a big red circle of teeth marks on his cheek put there by the babysitter’s daughter.

It is not always clear why kids bite, but in the case of a little 2 year old I know, it is because he can’t express himself in words and when his brother pushes him over, his only defense is to sink his teeth into the nearest offending flesh he can find. Now, if his brother didn’t react, he would think of doing something else, but biting always induces a great response! It does also draw attention so mother does something about the annoying brother. In his case he gets a time out every time he bites.

Other reasons for biting might be because the child is teething, and biting on something is soothing (rather like puppies chewing everything in site when they are teething). Maybe they need your attention bad enough to cause someone to cry. The child may be jealous of an older or younger sibling taking your attention away from him.

So what do you do with a child that bites?

Preventative measures:
Look for the possible causes:
a) If you think he has sore gums then give him a teething ring or rub teething
    medication onto his gums.
b) If he needs attention, don’t ignore the signs, even though you may be busy.
c) If you think he is frustrated or jealous, try to remove the annoyance factors.
d) If he is old enough, tell him to tell you what he wants instead of biting to get
    your attention.
e) If you see him about to bite, quickly redirect his attention to something else.
f) Change activities around so the child does not get bored or frustrated.
g) When he acts as you ask, praise him for doing the right thing.
h) When you are aware of your child's biting habit, then warn the daycare or
    play-date parents.

Active measures:
a) Tell your child very simply but firmly that he must not bite. Explain that biting
     hurts. If he wants your attention then he's to call you, not bite another child. Obviously,
     a very small child will not understand all those words. However, if you put on
     your stern face and voice and say, “Do not bite!” he will get the picture. Tell him that
     if he bites, he will get a time out or go home.”
b) If he bites then do exactly what you said you would...serve the consequence.
c) Do not bite a child to teach him a lesson. He will only get confused and wonder
    why you are biting him when you won’t let him bite others.
d) When he gets old enough to express himself, encourage him to say what is wrong
     or what he wants so he doesn’t feel the need to bite others.

The habit of biting is not prolonged. However, it is disturbing to any recipients! It is important to deal with it for all concerned!

Written by Sally Burgess
Resource:
Supernanny Team: 
 Article on stopping a child from biting
http://www.supernanny.com/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/Put-a-Stop-to-Biting.aspx

MY AMAZING JOURNEY TO BECOMING A MOM

WHEN YOUR ICE CREAM GETS TAKEN FROM YOU, YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES ... 

(WARNING: SENSITIVE TOPIC)

You know that glorious moment when you put your tongue out for that first lick of your favorite ice cream? You've waited in line patiently ... OK, kind of patiently, your mouth watering at the thought of the decadence you are about to splurge on! And then BAM!!! It's gone! Disappeared! Who would take your ice cream? That's just madness! Right????

Well, that's how I felt for a good eight years, like someone just snatched away the one thing I had wanted my whole life.  Not just once, but 4 times! On top of that, I felt that the 'ice cream' I just purchased was shoved in my face, metaphorically speaking. At least that's how it seemed to me at the time. Let me explain.

THIS IS MYJOURNEY
From 2003 to 2009, I experienced 4 miscarriages in a row. I was obviously devastated by each of them. After the second miscarriage my husband and I decided to try adoption.  It was something we had talked about even before trying to have children, since my husband is also adopted. We went through a local well-known adoption agency, attended all the classes required and paid the fees. I was finally feeling hope after such a daunting time. In the process of adoption classes I found out I was pregnant for the third time. I was excited and scared at the same time. I couldn't stand to lose yet another child or impede our adoption process due to pregnancy. Either way, it was hard to be excited. At eight weeks I had my first scan. I was terrified and numb. Much to my surprise, there was a beautiful baby with a heartbeat bouncing around inside me. I was overjoyed and finally allowed myself to be happy. In fact, I decided not to tell anyone about the pregnancy because I was afraid I would have to un-tell everyone a few weeks later (been there, done that ... sigh!) But seeing that little flicker on the screen made me forget all that. I thought, "Screw it, I'm telling everyone. This one's gonna make it!" Well, it didn't.

Literally a week after that scan, my baby's heartbeat stopped. I was beyond crushed. I've never cried so much in all my life, and having been through miscarriages twice before, I knew what was coming and I wasn't looking forward to it. However, this time it was different. This time it was worse! A month after the terrible news, my miscarriage began. It was not like the others. This time I went through full labor and contractions. The pain was unbearable and after suffering through it for seven hours on my own (I didn't want to wake my hubby who had to work a 12 hour shift in the ER the next day), I finally woke him and told him I needed to go to the ER. Within minutes, (and after going through six more sets of contractions while going down the stairs, entering the car and racing to the ER) the pain was over. With Morphine pumping in I was able to relax enough to realize what just happened. With my Mom by my bedside and my own husband attending me as a patient, I gave birth to a perfectly formed sack, not much bigger than a large plum. Inside it was my precious baby. I wished I could have seen it, but it wasn't a see-through sack. My husband and I decided that we should send it off for genetic testing in case there was something causing my children to die prematurely. I went home that day and cried till I just couldn't cry any more. For those who have gone to a hospital only to leave without being a mommy, you know what it's like.

The very next day I had another adoption class to go to, and ironically, it was about loss and the reason why so many parents turn to adoption. It was surreal. Now, some of you may be wondering why I would go to an adoption class the day after I had a miserable miscarriage ending in hospitalization. Well, the agency we were going through only did the classes twice a year. And if we didn't go we would have had to wait another year to start again. Not gonna happen!

I came to find out, through the genetic testing results, that there was nothing wrong with me and that our dear baby was a little girl with Down Syndrome. I thought, "WOW! I had a little girl!!!" Oh, it was so nice to know the sex of our child. How I wished I could have held her and suddenly felt sad all over again.

Within three months, I found out I was pregnant again. I know...what was I thinking? Let's just say it wasn't planned. I thought, "Oh, no! Here we go again!" After going through three miscarriages already, I lost all joy and decided I'd wait until nine weeks before I would have my first scan as all the others had died around eight weeks. I couldn't stand to see another heartbeat and get my hopes up again. Sure enough, at my nine week scan, there was a little baby with no heartbeat resting inside.

KICKED TO THE CURB
Up until that point, I honestly hadn't been angry at God. I considered all of this loss to be part of life and that I was no exception, but I felt anger rising within me. We held off proceeding with the adoption process to give ourselves time to heal. It was all too much at the time. And then, like a cruel twist of fate, one awful thing after the other happened to us. I lost a record deal, a publishing deal, a computer hard-drive with every client's work on it, a car, and many more things. It was like we were being kicked while we were down. Instead of leaning more on God in such a time of devastation, I went completely the other direction. I mean, what was I going to ask Him? He'd already taken away everything I cared about. I felt like Job. But I failed miserably at the test of faith. On top of that, my husband took it really hard, too. We needed each other, but felt too devastated to be able to help each other. It was the loneliest time I've ever experienced. How was I going to get through this?

HOPE AT LAST
Several months later, November 2009 to be exact, Mom sent me an email about an adoption agency that was local to our area and thought I might be interested in checking it out. I thought getting information on this agency was weird because we had been going through a different agency, and had stopped the process because we weren't mentally or spiritually up to following it through at the time. Out of pure curiosity, I checked out the link to Heaven Sent Children, Inc. It was a small website with not a lot of information on it at the time. They processed local and international adoptions and I thought, if anything, it was worth checking out.

Now, I didn't mention this earlier, but my husband was born in South Korea and adopted by an American family. Strangely, that is the country we had really wanted to adopt from. However, we were told by our first agency that my husband, aged 43 at the time, was too old and that we might as well give up that dream. The cut-off age was 43. He was going to turn 44 before we could start the process. (For this reason we had reluctantly decided to try for a local adoption). I made an appointment with the new agency HSC and took my Mom with me for moral support. My husband knew nothing about our visit and was working that day anyway. It was really just an inquiry about the agency and what they could offer us. Well, I've never been so encouraged and relieved in a long time. After meeting with a case-worker named Stephanie, she stated, "Of course you can adopt from Korea", and, "No, it won't be a long process." My head started spinning. I think Stephanie must have thought my Mom and I were 'bonkers' [crazy], because we were so excited (Aside note: We ARE bonkers!). It was the best news ever! Now, how to break it to my hubby whom I didn't know was ready to even talk about it. But after briefly mentioning it in passing with a sense of guilt that I had gone without telling him, he actually showed some interest.

STARTING AGAIN
Needless to say, we started the new adoption process. Every step of the way we encountered mountains of paperwork with appointments, home visits and parting with lots and lots of money. But, in September of 2010 we received the best news EVER!!! We had gotten a 'referral' and needed to come by the office to see if it was something we wanted to move forward with. What a referral means, for those who are not familiar with adoption, is that we were shown a photo and medical file of a sweet little baby boy and asked if we thought he was suitable for our family. In a matter of seconds, I said YES!!!! Stephanie said, "Before we can move forward, you have to take the medical file to a noted adoption-savvy physician and make sure you are comfortable with any medical conditions this baby may have." Of course we said, "Absolutely!" Here is the photo we were shown at this meeting so you can see why we instantly said, YES!!!

I knew instantly, that he was our son. My heart just connected with him. Aside from the fact that he is absolutely adorable, there were some medical concerns and other unmentionable concerns about him that made me hesitate a little. But, I really felt that he was meant to be our son. So, after taking the file to the physician and getting the 'all clear', we accepted the referral and settled in for a long wait till we could go and get him. After months of waiting, we finally got word that we could go and get him in January, 2011. We were so excited! This was it! We were going to be a family! My ice cream had been given back to me. I could finally enjoy the moment.

Well, little did I know, I was about to get two ice creams to make up for the four that were taken from me. A week after getting home from a nauseating trip to Korea to pick up our son, I found out I was pregnant again!!!! WHAT??? Was this some kind of cosmic joke God was pulling? We literally just got home with a baby that had been taken away from everything and everyone he knew and didn't understand English, to having to potentially go through another miscarriage all at the same time! I just wasn't ready for that. I was throwing up every day and I was too scared to go for a scan. So, I waited an ungodly amount of time to get a first scan. I didn't want to risk being disappointed again. But look what they found.

Now, this particular photo is much further along than my first scan, but you get the idea. There it was. A perfect little baby...boy! Oh my goodness! I was going to have two babies in 8 months! WHAT??? It's like Irish twins. Boy, does God have a sense of humor! I shouldn't be surprised though. He did the same for Job and returned to him everything he lost and more. It was more than I could take in. Now, don't get things twisted. It wasn't all roses and chocolate with me and God. I didn't suddenly run back to His loving arms and say, "Thanks, Dad." There was such a divide between us, that it was going to take a long time for me to realize what He just did. During and after my pregnancies people would often say to me, "I guess it just wasn't meant to be," or, "Maybe there was something wrong with it and God spared you," and stuff like that.

Let me just say, as a parent of multiple miscarriages, those comments are completely offensive and inappropriate and I'm not a super-sensitive person. Essentially, what those statements mean is, "God gave you the one thing that you always wanted, but then decided to take it away from you because He changed His mind," or, "The baby you were carrying was less worthy of love, affection and life because there was some abnormality assigned to it." My blood is boiling just thinking about it! Words meant for encouragement often end up offending the person, so, it is best to just be there for the person and help them through whatever they need support-wise. Just listen. Sit with them and eat a big tub of ice cream and hug and cry with them. That's what they need. I'm sorry, I went on an important tangent, now back to the story.

Here's a link to What Not To Say To An Adoptive Parent

Let's just cut to September, 2011. After months of throwing up, two hospitalizations for potential kidney stones, bronchitis, a placenta previa scare and the normal discomforts of pregnancy, it was time to welcome our new son into the world. He came quickly! Water broke at 12:45 a.m., epidural in at 1:30 a.m., started pushing at 10:00 a.m. and he was here at 10:22 a.m. after three pushes. He was 7lb 3oz, 21.5" long and showed off some fine lungs. It was after he was first laid on my chest that I realized we had given him the perfect name. After eight months of adding and crossing names off lists, we finally settled on Jagger a few weeks before he was born. Boy was he made for that name! With a mouth that took up a large portion of his lower face, he was destined for rock and roll comparisons. He was perfect. God had blessed me with two beautiful boys.

FEELING OVERWHELMED
Now reality set in. As I was being puked on 7 times a day, woken 6-8 times a night and dealing with a very jealous older brother, I found myself being caught up in anger again. I felt like I couldn't enjoy these little miracles because I was drowning and overwhelmed having two babies with very different, but real needs. One had colic and reflux and the other was feeling like the mother he just got to know was now being taken from him by a very needy baby brother. It was a very difficult year indeed. I just wanted to enjoy the moment and I couldn't.

I HAD TWO CHOICES
After everything started to settle down, I realized that I had two choices. I could either wallow in self pity and feel like the odds were always going to be stacked against me, or, I could choose to see the miracle God performed for me despite my attitude toward Him. I realized that our adopted son Niko was meant to be in our family and, had I not gone through the multiple miscarriages, we may never have adopted him. If I had had two biological kids, I would have likely decided I was done and never followed through with the adoption idea.

I know that I will see my miscarried babies one day in Heaven and that gives me comfort. God then gave me a baby at the same time to show me that I just needed to trust Him first and then He would give me my ice cream (Niko) - with a cherry on top (Jagger). I'm so glad I made the latter choice because my kids are my world. It's a crazy and hectic world, but a great world and I am so grateful.

GOD WAS THERE ALL THE TIME
If you have been through rough times and you walked away from God like I did, rather than toward Him, please be encouraged that God is still with you, despite what you think of Him. You may not see it now, but you will soon. Your time is just around the corner. Mine was eight years around the corner, but hang in there! Joy is coming. I promise!

Written by Kristee Mays

WHO SAYS BOYS SHOULDN'T CRY?

 

Boys don't cry.  Man up!  Stop being a baby!  You're acting like a girl!  Stop being a sissy!  Boys are tough, but girls are cry babies.  Stop being a girl's blouse!


I wonder where all these emotive sayings came from?  Are boys not allowed to show their tender emotions?  In fact, are they allowed to HAVE tender emotions?


THE HISTORY:
Looking back over the centuries, I think our expectations of the roles of male and female have changed for the better.  We have gone from the caveman with a club over his shoulder going out to kill to feed the family, to father going out to work all day while the 'little woman' stayed home.  She did all the housework, caring for her children and waiting on her husband when he came home from a hard day in the mines or at the office.  Then came the 2nd World War when many women had to go to work to support the war effort.  After that came more a mixing of gender roles.  Along came Barbie and Ken and later action figures for boys.  That took a bit of getting used to!  How many fathers can you remember saying, "My boy is not playing with dolls!!!"


TIMES ARE CHANGING:
As time has gone by the roles of men have definitely morphed.  These days we have a number of stay at home fathers.  It may be that Mom can earn more money than Dad so he opts to stay home with the kids.  It may be that he has lost his job, so acts as caregiver or even home-schools his kids.  Wow!  That is indeed a change in gender role, and many mothers are happy about it.


So, does the cultural merging of gender roles allow men to show their feelings?  I think there has been a slackening off of the macho, tough exterior we expect of men.


BOYS STILL HAVE TO BE TOUGH:
However, I cannot say the same for young boys growing up.  Why do men discourage their boys from showing a soft side?  Possibly it is because they are preparing their sons to have to take that same age-old responsibility and be the protector, the solid, unshakable rock and leader in their families.  Fathers appear to be proud of their sons when they play hard-out sports like football and wrestling, but what is their reaction when their son wants to be a dancer?  Remember the movie 'Billy Elliott'? 


If we don't acknowledge that our boys have a tender side, and say the injurious statements to them like, "Stop being such a baby!"  Their only recourse then is to stuff their feelings down inside to smolder.  They are likely then to continue the same pattern with their own sons, often finding it difficult to show tenderness to their wives.

Listen up!  We all have feelings.  God made us that way on purpose.  Girls have had the opportunity to wear their hearts on their sleeves over the centuries.  Because of it men have labeled women as being 'emotional' suggesting a trait of weakness.  Men have stuffed their feelings down in an attempt to show they are tough and can handle any mountain that comes their way.  The British call it being stoic or having the 'stiff upper lip'.

NO SIGN OF WEAKNESS:
It is not a sign of weakness to admit we don't know what to do and to ask for help.  It is not a sign of weakness to show our emotions.  Boys and men should cry, should hug one another, should discuss how they feel and bring out their issues with guy friends.  Girls and women have being doing it since time began and they seem to be wired to do so.  Over a cup of tea or coffee and over the social networks women and girls bare their souls to one another, comfort each other, laugh and cry together - and go on.  Men tend to 'suck it all up', internalize it, stew on it and rarely deal with it.  Mix that with a hefty dose of testosterone and loneliness and it may come out as violence to self or others.  Societies where males are encouraged to show tender emotions men seem to be better adjusted and suffer less emotional disorders.  I'm so glad to see changes in the way men are expressing their emotions, even on the football field!

Please encourage our boys and men to do the same.

Written by Sally Burgess

WHEN YOUR CHILD BREAKS ANOTHER CHILD'S TOYS

We had a question from a young mother recently. She was concerned that her 5 year old son had broken a friend's toy:

"Yesterday, James was playing at our neighbor's house before Christmas dinner and broke his toy gun by mistake... just not thinking his actions through, no bad intentions. When I heard about it I immediately texted the mom and offered to replace the toy gun, to which she replied, "Don't worry about it, it was just a cheap toy."

 If one of James' friends broke one of his toys, I wouldn't expect that child to replace it. I would tell James that it was his responsibility, that he made the decision to let the other kid play with his toy and that accidents happen. On the other hand, if I loaned something of mine to another adult and they broke it, there are some things I would tell them to not worry about, but there are some things I would expect them to replace or at least pay for.

I feel like I want James to use his money to replace the gun. He currently has enough, but he's been saving up for a specific toy. Should I listen to the mom and not worry about replacing it, or should I make James replace the toy? One option I thought of was I would pay for half of the toy gun, so it wouldn't take as much of James' saved money. We could also help him do lots of extra chores during Christmas break to quickly make more money, and hopefully buy the toy he has been saving up for. 

I keep going back and forth and could use some guidance."

Thanks very much, Jennifer
  
This is our response to such a scenario:

Talk the situation through with with your child.     

a) If he seems remorseful and didn't break the gun in anger, out of spite or through 
    sheer recklessness, then it was an accident and explain that accidents do happen. 
    He does need to say he is very sorry that it happened. In this case his savings should 
    stay intact. He could possibly offer his friend one of his toys or do a chore for the 
    neighbor if you felt it was appropriate, but if it was an accident, such an action is 
    up to you.  

b) If he did not tell anyone about breaking his friend's toy gun and someone had to get 
    him to admit he did it, then that is a different story. He needs to know it is better to 
    be honest and say exactly what happened, apologize and also make amends. Explain 
    that if he tries to hide doing wrong he will lose friends. To made amends, he needs to 
    use his own money to replace the gun, or do some chores for you so he earns the 
    money to replace the broken toy. 

c) Talk to him in general about being careful with toys or personal possessions 
    belonging to someone else. 

NOTE: 
 If a child within a family breaks a sibling's toy, similar advice is advised. It is also a good
 idea to try and identify the cause e.g. 
1) Is the child jealous of the toys another child is getting?
2) Is this child becoming angry because he/she feels they are not getting enough 
     attention?
3) Are the children spoiled with too many toys and are not respectful of them?  
4) Was it an accident? 

Deal with the root cause as soon as possible to restore harmony in the home.

By talking these situations through, it teaches your kids the right response when accidents happen. This should also teach him how to react in a forthcoming incident if a friend comes to your place and accidentally breaks something of his.

Written by Brian and Sally Burgess

TOYS, TOYS EVERYWHERE

We went to the home of some friends who were grandparents some years ago and it was just a few days before Christmas.  When we walked into the living room, there stood a huge and beautifully decorated tree.  Under the tree and literally covering about 4ft in circumference on the floor, were piles upon piles of gifts.  We couldn't believe it.  We were totally speechless.  We wondered what kids could do with just so much stuff in 3 months let alone one magical day.

OK, so we can't stop grandparents and significant others' compulsive urge to go crazy with gift-giving at Christmas time, but how can we cope and manage the huge influx of toys? 

Here are some suggestions:

Before Christmas
Sit down with your kids and decide which of their old toys they are willing to give away and which they wish to keep.  Have your children go with you to give their old toys to some organization or to give to some play group as their act of giving.  This will help them understand and enjoy the gift of giving.

Put old toys the kids want to keep into a 'time capsule' where, every three months, they can swap them out.  Decide on and keep to x number of toys out at a time.

On Christmas Day
Put some gifts in their bedrooms to open for when they first wake up.  (When they finally get to sleep after the anticipation of Santa coming, they always program their internal clocks to awake at some ungodly hour.  We all did it).  Just make sure the gifts you leave in their room are noiseless and do not need your instructions to get them going!

If you have numerous gifts from different sources, instead of giving all the presents out at once, how about letting your kids open some in the morning, some after lunch time and the remainder in the early evening.  This way they will get to enjoy each gift more than just tearing the paper, taking one glance at them and then reaching for another. 

Teach your kids to read any accompanying cards or tags that are on the gifts before opening the presents.  If they are too young to read you could do this until they are able to do it for themselves, thus establishing a tradition of respect and gratitude.

General toy management suggestions:
Only make available a certain number of toys at any given time so you don't lose sight of the beds in your children's rooms. 

Show your kids how to look after their toys.  They need to know how to care for fragile toys and how to maintain mechanical or technological toys.

If you see your child mistreating a gift, put it away for some time and only reintroduce it when the child agrees to care for it appropriately.  For example, if they leave a bicycle out in the front yard where it could be stolen or they leave a skateboard in a place where someone could trip over it and injure themselves, remove it and tell your child why they must show more care and consideration.  This will teach them to be responsible for their possessions.

Provide storage space or bins where all of their current toys can be kept in an orderly fashion and teach your kids from a very early age how to pick up and store them.  Once you have order established it needs to be your kids' role, not yours, to keep their rooms and play areas tidy and to put all their toys away.

Written by Sally and Brian Burgess