Monday, August 12, 2013


 I don't know how many times I have heard this:

A teen actually asks Mom/Dad advice about when it is OK to have sex.  Parent says, "Don't worry about it son/daughter, you'll know when it is the right time!"

What is wrong with this statement?  Just about everything! 

Teens are looking for guidance from parents.  If they don't get it from them they will just go to their friends for answers or do whatever feels good, without understanding the consequences of their actions.  NONE of those consequences are good! 

Why do parents hesitate to take a hard line on teen responsibility on sex?
Often it is because they were sexually active as teens and feel they can't tell their kids not to do something that they did as teens.  Parents' sexual experience as teens should never stop them protecting their children from making the same mistakes.

So, what should parents do?
  • Tell your kids all about sex when they are in their tween' years.
  • Make your kids aware of the disadvantages for children being born to unmarried young people.
  • Make it clear that sex is reserved for married couples - and why...whatever society says.
  • Create clear rules of responsibility for your children's behavior while around the opposite sex.
  • Teach your kids to develop self-control so they can use it when they are confronted by a sexual dilemma.

Suggested Family Rules for teens:

In this family -
  • It is inappropriate to wear clothing that is in any way likely to excite the opposite sex.
  • You are not allowed to take kids of the opposite sex into your bedrooms, behind any closed doors or be together at home alone.
  • It is disrespectful to touch a girl/boyfriend beneath their clothing and, in particular, beneath the area covered by a bikini or swim shorts.
  • You are required to follow exactly the same house rules wherever you may be.

Is it too late to help your child if they are already sexually active?
It is never too late!  It may be very difficult and it has to be handled delicately so you don't drive them further into their sexual behavior.  What is needed is really good, frank and open communication. 


Written by Sally Burgess

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