HOW TO DEAL WITH ANGRY KIDS

   

 It doesn’t take long to realize that the world is full of angry people. Why are they angry?

I think much of the anger we see today stems from the feeling of injustice. Wars are fought and lives
lost because people are trying to protect what they feel is theirs or if they consider they are being unfairly treated.

Why do kids get angry?

Because they -

• Feel they are being unfairly treated.
• Want something that someone else has.
• Don’t feel valued.
• Are hurt by cruel words said to them or about them.
• Feel tension in the home and they become frightened or insecure.
• Don’t know how to express pent-up emotions.
• Receive inconsistent parenting.
• Don’t think you listen to them.
• Are being bullied or harassed and haven’t told you about it.
• Experience a sudden change in family dynamics.
• Have been spoiled and, when asked to do something, they don’t like it.

How do we find the source of kids’ anger?

1. Stop.  Take a good look at what is going on in the home.

    Where is it primarily coming from? – (See list above)

•      Is the atmosphere charged with tension? 
•      Is there shouting and disharmony? 
•      Is one child causing the issues?

2. Tackle the issues. Discuss your observations with your spouse/partner and make a plan of action.

    a) If the tension is derived from parental disharmony, shouting etc, then stop it.
        Keep your disagreements away from kids’ ears.
        Get professional counseling for your marriage and/or help for a more effective
        parenting style.

     b) If one child is angry then encourage them to talk about what is worrying them.
         Discuss your concerns with the teacher. Perhaps your child is getting bullied or cannot
         keep up with their work, so they feel useless. Make sure you give your kids
         one-on-one time so they can just talk to you and ask for help. They want to know you
         care and that you will listen. It makes them feel loved, valued and secure.

3. Anticipate behavioral change when your family’s dynamic changes e.g. remarriage,
    adoption of a new child into the family, change in address, school or financial state, or
    death of a family member. If you are not sure how best to prepare your kids for change,
    ask a professional.

In the next blog we will discuss how to literally manage a child in an angry rage.

Written by Sally Burgess