THE MOST DAMAGING COMMENTS YOU CAN MAKE TO A CHILD

1.   You were a mistake.
      This sets your child on a path of self destruction because they feel they were never wanted.

2.   You are a waste of skin/space/time.
      This leads kids to think they are worthless and will exhaust themselves trying to prove you wrong 
      or they will live down to your expectations.

3.   Why can't you do anything right?
      Kids think, 'Whatever I do, it isn't good enough, so why try?'

4.   Why can't you be just like your brother!
      To be continually compared with another child creates jealousy and bad blood between siblings.

5.   You are a failure/loser.
      To be labeled as a failure/loser, is to pronounce uselessness over a person, which is very difficult 
      to overcome.

6.   You are never going to be any good at anything, so don't waste your time and our money.
      Damning words.  This is no way to motivate your child to excel at anything. 

7.   Klutz, fatso, trouble, brat, stupid........
      Parents may think they are being funny, but name calling hurts deeply.  You're also being a 
      negative role model to your other children.

8.   If you don't straighten up we will send you off to boot camp.
      Such threats make kids insecure and fearful.  If you don't follow through they know you won't keep
      your word.

9.   It is all because of you that  xxx  happened.
      This is an unfair accusation.  A child can never get away from the guilt put onto them.  Kids don't 
      have the maturity to process that.  Even if a child did cause the issue at hand, they must be 
      forgiven and given time to heal. Don't hold it over them.

10. I am ashamed of you.
      Kids want parents to be proud of them, so to be ashamed of him/her will make them just want to   
      give up!

11.  John is my favorite.
      This will cause your child to spend the rest of their lives trying to please you and be as good or 
      better than their sibling.

12. You are a lazy, good-for-nothing.
      Kids need to have expectations explained to them so they know the level to reach.  They need to 
      be praised for the things they do right, not picked on for what they are not doing.


All of us have a lot to learn and all of us make mistakes.  We must avoid making rash statements and exercise self-control to avoid uttering spirit-killing messages.  It has been said that it takes at least 10 times as many positive comments to erase just one negative one.  Therefore, try to fill your kids' memory banks with positives so they can call on them when negatives come their way.