DO I HAVE TO GIVE UP EVERYTHING AS A PARENT?

If you are like me and had a bustling career, or a real passion for something, and spent years doing that only to have it all come to a screeching halt because of parenthood, don't be discouraged. It is only for a short time that you will feel this way. Children take an incredible amount of care in their first few years. And if you have multiple children, those years can stretch on.

So, are you destined to be a stay-at-home mom or a career woman forever? Well, possibly? It just depends what is important to you. Maybe you found freedom and relief in being a homemaker. Maybe you realized just how much you were meant to be a mother. Or, maybe you long for the days you got to do the things you are most passionate about. I will tell you this. Your child or children sense if you are happy and fulfilled or not. They can read it in your body language and in your attitude towards them. If momma's not happy, nobody's happy!!! If we revolve everything we do around our children (i.e. taking them to all their practices, school, doctors appointments, friends' houses, extracurricular activities), we are not allowing our kids to look up to us as gifted individuals who can inspire them.

I remember loving the fact that my parents had a band when I was a kid. Going to their band practices and concerts was a thrill. They were, and still are, so inspiring to me. I have learned so much about passion and determination from them. I wouldn't be the person I am
today without seeing that. I'm really glad they didn't revolve their lives around me. I am determined to be that kind of role model for my kids.

If we don't continue doing what we love, then our kids are only getting part of us as parents. They are getting the part that is tired and unfulfilled (assuming you are not fulfilled in being a homemaker, though many are). What they need is the part that gets excited to get up everyday; that has drive and determination to achieve dreams. We don't do our kids any favors by sacrificing every single thing we love onto the parenting altar. Sure, you will have to make sacrifices to ensure that your kids have what they need. That includes not only shelter, clothing, food and security, but love, laughter, enthusiasm, passion, perseverance and the achievement of well earned goals.

Finding time for you as well as your children will mean working out a routine that you can all live with. Routines teach your kids how to plan to fit in things they love, just like you do. It's a lot easier to get excited about life when someone is leading the way. Let's show our kids that growing up is an exciting thing and that it gets harder, but also more fulfilling.

by Kristee Mays